I had a conflict with a friend whom I shall name Mr A. This incident happened when I was serving my liability in the army. The working environment was such that work was never ending and emotions were usually running high in the office. It happened on this fateful day when nothing seems to be going right and everything seems to be occurring simultaneously, resulting in a huge load of work to do. Tempers were short and the office had landmines planted everywhere. Naturally I had stepped on Mr A’s to result in an explosion of emotions leading to a quarrel. The quarrel transcended rather quickly to violence when Mr A decided to throw pens at me. I took myself away from the conflict by walking out of the office. We made up at the end of the day’s work and we are still friends now.
The main problem could be my lack of tactfulness, which resulted in the stepping on my friend’s toes hence causing the outburst. If I had not agitated him, probably this would not have happened. Additionally, the stress at work and the rush to meet datelines could have also contributed to the outburst.
There was much frustrations in the office on that day. I could have been an outlet for Mr A to release his frustrations. I, on the other hand, was rather calm and level-headed in the midst of our quarrel. I was fully conscious that I should not return blows, otherwise things would have gotten uglier.
Is walking away the best option? How else could I have handled such situations should they happen again?
I think that walking away was the best thing to do. I don't think Mr A would be capable of holding a calm confrontation with you, should you have stayed on to try to work things out with him immediately. You singled out our lack of tactfulness as one of the cause of the problem but it appears to me that Mr. A seems to be a quick-tempered person. I feel that he should have kept his calm instead of venting out on his colleagues, he could have taken a walk or take a breather, before resuming work.
ReplyDeleteAs for your part, should such situations happen again, I believe your calm nature would allow you to neutralize the conflict. Maybe since we are more equipped on how to read non-verbal cues, you would be able to sense it when your colleagues are irked, and let sleeping dogs lie! :)
I believe that walking away is the best way because Mr.Z and you could calm down fastest only when both of you are not seeing each other. If you fought with him, of course, the tension will get worse. If you stayed and keep quiet, he may also get angrier because he think that you are just taking him as the wall. If you apologize on the spot for your tactless, it may resolve the conflict in normal circumstances. However, under the extensive work pressure, I think he may just take your apology as a joke or maybe a sarcasm. Therefore, walking away is probably the best way.
ReplyDeleteI agree that walking away is the best way to calm down both of your emotion. I also agree what Bo Hui mentioned, it may agitated Mr. A even if you just stayed and keep quiet. I think you're really wise knowing what you could do to make up this situation. Even when Mr. A was anger first, you're so kind to solve this problem actively.
ReplyDeletegood move on your part to keep your cool. when emotions run high- it's best to put some distance between you and the other person.
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