I am giving tuition to a boy whose parents came from Bangladesh. They have immigrated to Singapore 15 years ago and the boy is born a Singaporean. Bangaldes’ culture is largely defined by Islam and with my past interactions with many Islamic friends, I thought that I was competent in dealing with the Dos and Don’ts.
I remembered the first time when I shook the mother’s hand, it felt limp. In my context, the handshake felt insincere and at that moment, I thought that she was being rude. However, after researching, I found out that that was their way of a handshake. Shaking hands in their culture is common, but they may feel rather limp.
Apparently in Bangaldes’ culture, greetings usually take place between members of the same sex. Women will only really be met within business contexts and even so, it is best to wait to see if a hand is extended before doing so. However the mother was quick to shake my extend hand, though limp. This could probably be an adaptation of their culture into the Singapore’s context, after all they have been here for 15 years. In Singapore’s context, girls are more open and extending one’s hand for a handshake is a gesture of friendliness.
From these experiences, I have learnt to withhold my judgmental views. I could not expect everyone to behave within my expectations since everybody is different. In addition, I have also realized that culture is not fixed. It can be shaped by the surroundings and adapt to societal expectations.
On a side note, I am troubled by a cultural issue. When people (Muslims for example) put their hands to their hearts after a handshake, how should I (non-Muslim) react? Should I put my hand to my heart as well?
